Okay, picture this. We're driving down US 50 through Moundhouse on our way to Dayton. Halfway through, a white Chevorlet passes us by using the turn lane and almost swipes an RV. When he gets in front of us, he slams his brakes on me and tries causing an accident... again. I decide to call him in for reckless driving, and he slams his brakes again... so what do we do? I follow him down 50 for a bit.
Now, many of y'all may know that I'm a very careful driver, but this guy would have sent even Gandhi into a road rage from the netherworld! We passed the street we were going to turn on, and kept following. So this guy starts to swerve back and forth between lanes, including the turn lane, then speeds up again. Halfway through Stagecoach, he passes a line of cars, plays chicken with on-coming traffic, and almost causes a pileup.
We decided to turn around and head back, but about a mile after turning around, I saw an ambulance AND the... oh, what do you call the dude that goes and collects dead bodies? Anyway, that dude... driving towards where we were. So, either fate had it in for him for being an insufferable deucherocket, or there was a completely unrelated accident that just so happened to be in the same direction and around the same time.
My point is this, people need to not be in such a goddamn hurry to go nowhere. The speed limit is fine! Of course, if all this were to have happened in East LA, the dude wouldn't even have made it two miles down the road!
Where the HELL are the cops when you actually need them around? Oh yeah... budget cuts.
... or kill me.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Fail is as Fail Does
While watching football today, I realized something. These are a bunch of people handling something that doesn't even resemble a ball, hitting each other for holding this ball, and running around like madmen with and chasing after the ball.
Then I saw some baseball clips and realized that it is a bunch of men standing around, waiting to hit the ball, throw the ball, catch the ball, or run when the ball got hit.
After this, I saw some hockey clips and found that it's a combination of the same old shit, but more movement of the item in question. A slab of acrylic, painted black, being hit about with sticks from one angry Canadian to another, moving either up or down the ice, working its way to either goal.
Soccer? Same thing as hockey, but with more sweaty and smelly Mexicans. Of course, there is something quite satisfying seeing a ball get kicked at some unfortunate Mexican'a head.
Golf! That's really not a sport. That's an excuse for people to stand around for a few hours at a time, waiting to hit a ball with a stick, trying to get it into a hole without landing it out of bounds, in water, or in sand.
Basketball is the same as hockey, soccer, and that sort of thing. People bouncing a ball around and trying to get it in the hole. Same shit, different balls.
My point is this. When fail happens, it's fucking hilarious! When a football player catches the ball, gets hit, and the ball comes right out... everyone laughs! When a soccer player makes to kick the ball, another player steps in the way, and the foot comes up and kicks a few SPARE balls... The room bursts into laughter and uncle Dave falls the hell over. Or when a baseball comes in contact with a batter's crotch... It's priceless.
However, better fails can be seen elsewhere. Such as a dude on a pogo stick makes it about ten feet into the air, then tips a little too far and makes a SOLID faceplant. You can't help but watch it a few more times. Or a guy getting kicked in the nards by a donkey? Absolutely priceless!
Second point is this. Fail happens! Epic fail is absolutely awesome, but it's hard to find. The best place to find Epic fail is right in front of you! Watch things more closely. The bird sitting on your fence one day might accidentally fall asleep and flip over, hanging upside down for a while. That would be hilarious, and you wouldn't be able to help but getting your camera out, taking a photo, and creating a demotivator to post on the internet.
All I'm saying is there needs to be more original fail out there. Get out your cameras, and FAIL FAIL FAIL! Even YOU can be a victim of Epic Fail!
Anyway, I'm out!
Frieden und Teufel-Hosen!
The Reverend.
Then I saw some baseball clips and realized that it is a bunch of men standing around, waiting to hit the ball, throw the ball, catch the ball, or run when the ball got hit.
After this, I saw some hockey clips and found that it's a combination of the same old shit, but more movement of the item in question. A slab of acrylic, painted black, being hit about with sticks from one angry Canadian to another, moving either up or down the ice, working its way to either goal.
Soccer? Same thing as hockey, but with more sweaty and smelly Mexicans. Of course, there is something quite satisfying seeing a ball get kicked at some unfortunate Mexican'a head.
Golf! That's really not a sport. That's an excuse for people to stand around for a few hours at a time, waiting to hit a ball with a stick, trying to get it into a hole without landing it out of bounds, in water, or in sand.
Basketball is the same as hockey, soccer, and that sort of thing. People bouncing a ball around and trying to get it in the hole. Same shit, different balls.
My point is this. When fail happens, it's fucking hilarious! When a football player catches the ball, gets hit, and the ball comes right out... everyone laughs! When a soccer player makes to kick the ball, another player steps in the way, and the foot comes up and kicks a few SPARE balls... The room bursts into laughter and uncle Dave falls the hell over. Or when a baseball comes in contact with a batter's crotch... It's priceless.
However, better fails can be seen elsewhere. Such as a dude on a pogo stick makes it about ten feet into the air, then tips a little too far and makes a SOLID faceplant. You can't help but watch it a few more times. Or a guy getting kicked in the nards by a donkey? Absolutely priceless!
Second point is this. Fail happens! Epic fail is absolutely awesome, but it's hard to find. The best place to find Epic fail is right in front of you! Watch things more closely. The bird sitting on your fence one day might accidentally fall asleep and flip over, hanging upside down for a while. That would be hilarious, and you wouldn't be able to help but getting your camera out, taking a photo, and creating a demotivator to post on the internet.
All I'm saying is there needs to be more original fail out there. Get out your cameras, and FAIL FAIL FAIL! Even YOU can be a victim of Epic Fail!
Anyway, I'm out!
Frieden und Teufel-Hosen!
The Reverend.
An Intro.
Welcome to my blog, "The Chaotic Times." It's going to be a collection of scattered musings, rantings, and observations.
I'm a 25 year old guy who wants to see the general stupidity in this world go away, and I am making some progress toward this goal.
By the way, I love comments, questions, and all that, so feel free to drop a line.
Peace.
I'm a 25 year old guy who wants to see the general stupidity in this world go away, and I am making some progress toward this goal.
By the way, I love comments, questions, and all that, so feel free to drop a line.
Peace.
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